Hi
Readers,
I’m
writing this article in response to a Sunrise report where an Adelaide retail store
has come under fire for selling t-shirts with the word “retarde” (which is French for
“late”).
“Retard”
is all too common a word often used to describe people
with disabilities but it actually means “To cause to be slow or incomplete;
hinder.”
In
addition to the use of the word retard, I also have issues with the use of the word “crippled” because, much like the term "nigger" it
is only acceptable when it is being used as a well-intended
joke among PLC-affected people and/or people with disabilities themselves,
but not when being used by others who most often use it to insult, exploit and/or intimidate us. Plainly put; you wouldn't walk around with a shirt
that says nigger so why is it suddenly okay to
walk around with a shirt
saying retard.
Conversely, Paralympic cyclist Mel Leckie appeared at the protest
outside the store wearing one of the shirts and argued it was no different to
wearing clothing printed with the word idiot or d***head. I would argue that as
she acquired her disability at the age of 27 she did not have to deal with
being called a retard during the more vulnerable part of
her life, her childhood, and as her disability is a physical one the word may
not resonate with her as it does with people perceived to be less than mentally
competent.
Ponder
this... Although people with disabilities and/or PLCs (permanent lifetime challenges) have to do things
differently to create their own “normalcy”, that doesn’t mean their
contribution to society should be any less valued than that of an able-bodied
person. Point in case, why do they then, often, face the worst
cases of bullying known to mankind?
Throughout
my life, I was subjected to bullying in the form of name-calling such as
“retard”, “social outcast”, “societal
reject” and “ugly crippled loser” as I battled acne. This really upset me but I kept myself strong by fully embracing the
uniqueness that came with my personality and by using the mantra of: “It’s what on the
inside that counts” to keep fighting. Whilst it wasn't always easy,
in the words of energetic practitioner and author Lenita Vangellis “when your self-love is intact the words
of the wounded have no effect on you."
I've
had role models throughout my life for various different reasons, but when I
reached my mid-teens I got to a point where I then
began searching specifically for a role model with positivity
qualities, knowing that positivity is
something that I will depend on for the rest of my life,
and as I was sick of being told what "positivity" should look like by
conventional thinkers.
In
my experience there are 2 different kinds of positive people; those whom
identify themselves as optimists for the sake of argument, and those whose
optimism is self-evident as they practice, preach, live and breathe optimism
daily. I found these characteristics in James Kannis, an Australian Idol contestant who was on
television at the time.
James
is an extraordinary guy with unique personality characteristics, not only does
he have the voice of an angel, but on a personal level he's one of the manliest
people you could ever meet and deep inside he has this
beautifully kind and soft heart that is filled with a limitless capacity for
unconditional love. He exudes positivity and his
love flows out and shines through effortlessly on to whomever he meets, which
made him the perfect role model for me and someone who I could always count on
(regardless of whether I got to meet them or not).
Unfortunately, even this very personal choice was
constantly criticised by "narcissistic emotional vampires" and consequently I found my
inner strength being worn away to the point that I actively tried to avoid bringing
up the topic and anything relating to my choice.
Normally I’m the sort of person that if
I like and/or love something or someone, then I like to wholeheartedly
and openly talk about it without restraint, which was more often than not misconstrued for stereotypical
reasons. At this point I'd like to
issue a call to arms to all parents, if you notice that your child is becoming
increasingly more withdrawn or evasive be proactive about communicating with
them in a non judgemental fashion. I have,
from my own experience, formulated a few questions for parents
to consider relating to the topic;
1.
How
do you explain the difference between being a follower and being a leader in a grounded way?
2. How do you articulate to your
child that in
life they shouldn’t allow themselves be
“enslaved” into being what others want them to be, but that there are times in life in which it’s
okay for them to mimic others depending on the reason for doing so?
3. How would you help your child
deal with their own self-comparison issues? For instance, if your child said to
you: “Mummy, I really want and/or wish that I could be like this person” or “If
it’s okay for this person to do this, then how come it’s not okay for me to do
it?”
A recent and more well known
case of bullying is that of Charlotte Dawson. It brings to light that whilst people may think that offhand comments are harmless everyone
has their own weak spot.
Unbeknownst to the trolls in
cyberspace Charlotte had long been battling with depression and had previously
tried to take her own life, so though comments about her appearance
simply bounced off the star's tough skin,
calls for her to end her existence cut straight to the core with a devastating effect which none
had foreseen. Despite Charlotte having previously spoken on 60 Minutes about the how this kind of cyber bullying had led to a previous attempt on her
life, when she finally succumbed to death's embrace many still refuse to
believe cyber bullying played such a part of her actions.
Em Mastronardi of Change.org is currently petitioning for
harsher penalties and policing of cyber bullying in memory of Charlotte and the
many others whom have lost their lives as a result of cyber bullying.
If you take away anything from
this article, let it be this perception becomes reality; be aware that
anything you may say can be misconstrued, and as Tyrese Gibson says "be
aware of dream, vision and passion killers" and if you sense that
someone is constantly trying to crush your dreams, unapologetically dump
them, they're not worth your time or effort - even though I know this is easier
said than done.
You can read more and
formulate your own opinion from these sources;
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